Finally, A Presidential Campaign Song That Reflects Reality! Bonus: Endorsed and Performed By The Artist!

Campaign “Theme Songs” are the “commercials” of the “Superbowl” we call Presidental Elections.   They really don’t have anything to do with the main event, and present a very interesting sideshow distraction for those who really don’t care to watch the main game.

I thought we reached the worst of the campaign songs when Ronald Reagan played “Born in the USA”, which is about everything that a politician DOESN’T want to represent.

Think about it.   The hardships of our troops dying because a President sent them to war spelled out in paragraph after paragraph of lyrics is NOT something you use to bolster your Presidental leadership skills.   I mean, besides the tagline chorus, did anybody bother to stop and READ the lyrics?   It’s a song about how Vets were ignored, went untreated and were largely left unsupported after a war – if they came home at all.   This is the anthem we use to sum up a political party?   Really?

Then John McCain was asked by John Cougar Mellencamp (Oh, sorry.  John Mellencamp, no ‘Cougar’ these days) to stop playing, “Pink Houses” as a campaign song.   Another excellent choice about a black man who lives by the railroad tracks, and think his dumpy life is grand by exclaiming, “Ain’t That America”.  Nice job, Republicans.   You couldn’t have done worse if you choose some choice Earth Wind and Fire songs.  Of course, John Edwards was able to use the tune, as JCM supports progressive Democrats.  But why would they?

Then there was Hillary Clinton, where Hillary’s campaign manager played Billy Joel’s “Captain Jack” song, a delicious ode to small towns, masturbation and drug use, for her campaign.    I mean, unless there was a pirate theme, why use Captain Jack at all?   Or was it just a hepcat cool ditty that all the hipsters were jiving to?

Captain Jack will get you high tonight

And take you to your special  island

Captain Jack will get  you by tonight

Just a little  push, and you’ll be smi…

ew ew ew STOP, okay, enough!! 

(That outfit screams, “Captain” too.  Captain Kangaroo!)

Michelle Bachmann was next on the “Make It Stop” List when Tom Petty delivered a humiliating cease-and-desist for playing “American Girl”.   Okay, closer to reality, because I don’t want to hear:

O yeah, all right

Take it easy, baby

Make it last all night

She was an American gi….

……and think of Michelle Bachmann.  GROSS.   For once, I’m going to go with the “Can’t we please think of the children” bit, if that’s the only way that we can make this stop.

You’d think politicans would start to get the hint and realize that songs weren’t written for campaigns.   You can’t summarize someone’s 4-year term or entire political career and shove it into a pop-laced upbeat ditty lasting 5 minutes or less.  I mean, you just can’t do it.    I mean, it COULD be done, but nobody has ever done it.

For instance, “Mo Money Mo Problems” by Notorious B.I.G.’s might have been a great song, but it more suggests that a smaller government – one pushed for historically by Republicans – would result in less problems.  Which is sort of true if you analyze it.  In fact, now that I think about it, I’m surprised – shocked even – that Democrats didn’t use it.

Anthony Weiner, of course, could have gone with any 2 Live Crew song, and that probably would have summed him up pretty well.

So you can imagine my surprise and amazement when the Obama Administration was on the road campaigning, and they invited Cee Lo Green to sing.   Of course, if you don’t already know, Cee Lo’s first single as a solo artist after leaving Gnarls Barkley, was titled, “F*** You” and skyrocketed him to a place on the charts.  Of course, “Forget You” is now the “clean” version of the song.   You know, with so few things to inspire you and write about, singing, “F*** You” to an upbeat little ditty is a way to amuse the prepubescent kids and get some controversy to cash in on.

What I never expected was that he would sing that song at a fundraiser for Obama and then flip the bird to campaign donors.  Sensational!

This is the defining moment, people.   Cee Lo Green, on behalf of Obama, sang to every taxpayer in America, “F*** You”.    To make sure there was no misunderstanding, he gave the finger so that you wouldn’t be scratching your head wondering if you really *did* just hear that!  Because you did. And it works!!!

He did it.  It absolutely works.  Click below for the video.

So I give President Obama a thumbs up, and while I still question if he’s the most fully transparent administration in America’s history, he can at least pick a campaign song that is 100% spot on.  For that, I tip my hat at his leadership and insightful message.

And for those of you who constantly bemoan Fox (FAUX) News, they’re the only one who played the clip.  Besides every dumb thing Romney and Santorum does that nobody cares about,  this is actual news, and we almost missed it.

Hey Guy-At-Fox-News-Who-Has-Never-Heard-Of-Cee-Lo-Green:   Turn on your radio once in a while.  It’s mostly crap, but at least Google the top 40 before you sound like you live in a cave.

I’m guessing your not an Iron Maiden fan either.

Perhaps a Celine Dion fan?  Lionel Ritchie, perchance?  Yanni?  Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course……




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2 responses to “Finally, A Presidential Campaign Song That Reflects Reality! Bonus: Endorsed and Performed By The Artist!

  1. Not_the_Anth#1

    Hillary Clinton used “New York State of Mind” in her run for Senator there, at one event a staffer played “Captain Jack” instead. So instead of a song about drug use and masturbation was suppost to be a song about drug use and hanging around with the wealthy (?)

    “I’ve seen all the movie stars in their fancy cars and their limousines.
    Been high in the Rockies under the evergreens.
    I know what I’m needin’, and I don’t want to waste more time.
    I’m in a New York state of mind”.

  2. This is an excellent point. I didn’t mean to imply that Captain Jack was the song for the entire campaign. Although, I can see hipsters old and young rallying around it. You know, freedom, open expression, et al.

    Hey, they’re all 1%ers, so I’m guessing they didn’t have much to say about it anyway. If you got it, flaunt it. I sure would.

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