In Soviet Russia, The Billionaires Make Better Policy Than The Government

Being of Greek descent, one of the things “my people” have given humanity is a reminder every four years to get together and have a little competitive fun.  Drink a little wine.  Be civilized.   Be naked and participate in bath orgies.  Okay, maybe not that one so much these days, but Greek Philosophers WERE(okay, me included, ARE) unarguably some of the world’s best thinkers, and a lot of credit is due to Greeks for their contributions to society.

My grandfather served his community as a market owner who gave food to “those people” in “that neighborhood” in Chicago because they were hungry and he had to get rid of food before it spoiled and served nobody.  So he drove it down himself.  At his funeral, you wouldn’t have known a Greek person had passed away.

My father does his own contributions, too many to list here.  Greeks as a people are quite generous in the large spectrum of society, and have many instances of documented humanity in history.

One of them being the Olympics.

So to the hard-working athletes, I apologize ahead of time, but I won’t be tuning into the Olympics this year.  It’s not your fault, but it’s a point of principle that doesn’t allow my actions to contribute to some serious issues that I may even share with many of you.

Russia, this year, has taken that beautiful gift, our Communal Crystal Vase of Excellence, reached out with a velvet glove in front of every nation, and taken and COMPLETELY SMASHED that whole concept and sent the world back about 50 years.

With the recent Gay Rights violations, I’m almost surprised that Russia hasn’t also considered not allowing women to participate.   I mean, if you’re going to go back in time and make some laws, don’t half-ass it.  Go all out and show your entire inability to allow progress and equality to be a staple.

Even Google, and their usual left-of-center politics felt the need to make a point to Russia, and they do a wonderful job.  I hope you bigots in Russia are getting the point.  And you know Google attention doesn’t come easy.  There’s usually some unheard of inventor or NPR-esque tribute to a little-known contributor to society on their homepage.  So when you get their attention, it’s for a reason.


Fine, we Greeks didn’t allow women to participate initially in Ancient Greece.  You could make that argument in a lame attempt to “trump me” into some feigned fairness bicker where you’d still lose.  But we needed women to judge the races at the finish line.  If you’ve ever met a Greek woman, you know that once she sees something, you’re not going to argue with her because her mind is made up.  Every Greek woman makes the perfect referee.  You’re going to lose if you contest a Greek woman, and you’ll lose every time, and if you don’t ante up, she’ll pull your ear, spritz your eyes with Windex and drag your ass around until you concede.  No good Greek man dares object.

This is how the Olympics worked until people want to get all digital and put cameras everywhere.  Then one year, we invited the Chinese, and they showed up with crates and outfitted everything with electronics – digital timers, photographs of the finish line, buzzers…..  And the rest is history.

I’m kidding.  Lighten up.

Women DID compete in 1900 (Paris, if memory serves correctly), and that was still far ahead of most women’s rights movements.  With the addition of women’s boxing to the Olympic events, the 2012 Games in London were the first in which women competed in all the sport events.  Again, some countries are still waiting for that, and women worldwide should have that equality.  As should all groups.

I’m going to assume that the ancient Greeks weren’t exactly all monogamous, and it’s quite possible that a few were… you know… teetering on their sexuality.   So let’s finally get with it.  If we’re going to exclude someone from the Olympics, its because they don’t deserve to be there FOR THEIR PHYSICAL ABILITY, and not ANY other reason.  

The Gay Rights issue is one good reason I’ll be boycotting.  Shame on you, Russia, for not allowing a qualified participant under the Olympic Committee have safety and freedom from harassment.   If you can’t handle this as a national issue, DON’T HOST THE PEA-PICKIN’ OLYMPICS!   Your biggest LGBTQ consideration should be if someone qualifies to be in the MENS ROOM or the LADIES ROOM, and even then, THEY get to choose their identity, and your job… quite frankly… .is to make sure that facility is clean enough.

But it doesn’t even end at human abuses.

I just read this article from the New York Times:

The other issue that rips my Jockeys is the horrendous abuse as far as the euthanasia of street dogs.   Can I use the term, “genocide” in this?  Is that fair?  Genocide is defined as, “the deliberate and systematic extermination of a national, racial, political, or cultural group.”    Okay, so “species” isn’t included, but you get my point.

Here’s what one of those exterminators had to say:

“A dog ran into the Fisht Stadium, we took it away,” he said. “God forbid something like this happens at the actual opening ceremony. This will be a disgrace for the whole country.”


What’s a disgrace is that your country is so ass-backwards that it has no “Spay or Neuter” program for citizens – that is, until the last minute when they all must be “rounded up”.   Not all countries have a management program, but to nail them down like you’re doing so that “it doesn’t look bad?”   That’s what I find MOST inhumane.
What’s a disgrace is that your construction industry promotes this problem without a responsibility for cleaning up.  Sterilization is not promoted, and animal abuse isn’t against the law.
What’s a disgrace is that you shoot them with poison that suffocates them after painfully disabling them until the compound finally shuts down vital organs.
What’s a disgrace is that it takes TOURISM DOLLARS and an INTERNATIONAL COMMUNITY for you jackholes to wake up and address a problem of stray, hungry dogs, and the only “solution” is a government funded program to “round them up and kill them” for $25-35. each.

Yet,  you vacant-headed marmalukes think that a “dog entering the stadium” is a black mark on your country?   Are you kidding me?

From a CNN Report:  (Footage of dying dogs on video – you were warned)

“At first I thought someone beat the dog,” she recalled. “The dog jumped up and started running around in circles. Then she fell down and started spitting up … I called the veterinarian. He said there is a 100% guarantee the dog was poisoned.”

Krasova filmed the dying dog with her cell phone. So did Irina Gutnik, another Sochi resident.

Gutnik said she encountered a dog convulsing and barking in fear and pain in Sochi’s Bitka neighborhood in December.

“They always poison the street dogs here,” Krasova said. “But in December it got terrible … they began poisoning the animals terribly before the Olympics.”

And get this:  A BILLIONAIRE – one of those “Ritchey Rich ONE Percenters”, famous for International hate and scorn and anti-adornship, yet one with a heart…  STOOD UP and made a makeshift shelter for ALL of the dogs, while animal activists are trying desperately to save every possible pup.

Clearly Russia’s millionaires have a little more class than some of America’s millionaires.  Instead of buying boobs or “vagina tucks” or buying countless cars and mansions to the point where they lose count of how many they own  (Like Senator John McCain, R-AZ)…  RUSSIA has a BILLIONARE –  one uses their money for good, giving back to their community and at least appearing to be a humanitarian, if not an animaltarian.   (Yeah, it’s a word now, and if you disagree, I’ll tell a Greek woman that you said she was ugly.  Good luck with that.)

The Russian Government appears to not have moved forward much, but their people have, and that gives me hope.   To the nameless person in Russia, please know that many of us tip our hats with respect to you.  You’re “doing it right!”.

This is not the Olympics the Greeks gave you – one with kinship, and a competitive-yet-equal community.  Other countries have managed to at least get a “C+” in regards to human rights.  Not this year.  This is the Ruble-lympics, made so Mother Russia can pontificate their country’s “Great Favor of Nations” in a nation that is broken, intolerant to both humans AND animals, and one where the dollar – and short term reputation – comes first.

This is a farce, and barring any appearance by the Scorpions performing,  I’m not participating by watching, supporting or donating until we can find a host country that has a modicum of decency, or the Olympic Committee starts doing a better job of choosing cities.   This isn’t something that just “popped up” in recent “weeks”.  This was a serious oversight that should have disqualified Russia if anyone had bothered to walk around the area to see if it would indeed interfere.

Good luck to the competitors.  I’m sorry you have to compete in a backwards-ass country for your hard-earned moment of glory.  You deserve better as professional athletes, but I can’t send a dollar in this year to this bad decision.

If that’s not bad enough, there are unconfirmed rumors that Putin’s girlfriend will be lighting the Olympic torch:

I didn’t realize that “Presidential ****-Sucking was an Olympic Torch Qualifier these days.  I should really get with the times.

Wait.  THIS is Putin’s girlfriend?   How YOU doin?

I know what YOU’RE really good at!  Gymnastics!

(No seriously, she is.  In 1998 at 15-years-old, Kabaeva won the European Championships in Portugal.  That’s a fact.)

Sorry.  I was distracted.  Back to the point:

The Olympic Committee needs to step up and punish the wrongs of both human rights, animal rights, and favoritism happening this time, and work diligently to make sure it doesn’t happen again at any other place or time.

The treatment of the Olympics, of people, of animals and favoritism by the government is unacceptable.

I’m tuning out.   Good luck American athletes.  Go get em’.


Edited to add:    While Greece is not immune to the social ills described above, we’ve taken preference from other countries for less.  It’s time to make sure equality is judged in performance, rather than anything else.  The country’s anthem is played to honor the nation and the athlete.

Edited AGAIN to add:  The Scorpions are German.   Wow, I’m going to send MYSELF to the corner with my head down for 10 minutes of QUIET TIME for that blunder.


1 Comment

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One response to “In Soviet Russia, The Billionaires Make Better Policy Than The Government

  1. LJB

    Heloooooooooooooooooooooo Nurse!

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